When I first saw Dr Broadhead, I told him that I was sure that my anxiety was related to the quality of sleep I was having, and that if I could sleep, I either wouldn’t be anxious or it would be at levels I’m used to. He wrote this down in big letters on my clinical notes.
Moving forward six weeks and a few medication changes, and he reminded me of that statement and said that is the goal we are working towards.
I requested a medication tweak on Wednesday (previously) which was agreed as being ‘logical’; that due to being anxious, when I hit the REM portion of sleep – which is very close to the awake state – I’m waking. The theory being that by adding 1mg lorazepam at bedtime, it’ll lower my overall anxiety levels at night meaning when I hit REM, I should – if the theory is valid – remain asleep.
Wednesday night I started the new schedule. Since then, I’ve been waking on average, just a single time each night. I believe I’d have slept through last night, but Zachary woke having a nightmare so I went to cuddle with him.
The effect of this improved level of sleep as been astounding. I’m bouncing out of bed in the morning feeling good, and my mood is stable throughout the day. Interactions with people – everyone practically – go very well, and aren’t draining (previously). Even the grief of last weekend (previously) hasn’t bothered me.
And the most important milestone: I’ve been medication free, during the day, for the last three days!
I’m thankful for having a doctor who:
- Listens to me.
- Respects me enough to know that I know my body and mind far better than anyone else.
- Believes in me enough to allow me to modify my medication and dosing schedules, almost without question.
That trifecta has allowed me to get start feeling like me again, without pharmaceutical assistance. Even if Bupa won’t pay for seeing Dr Broadhead, it will have been worth every penny – he is one of the best doctors I’ve ever had the fortune to know.