A brief look over the last few weeks’ health events:
Gastro
Spoke with Dr Jeremy Sanderson, via email, and following a successful antibiotic run which ended last Thursday, he’ll be prescribing some ‘once a day’ pills for me to have for the next few months.
But taking antibiotics continually isn’t Valhalla so I’ve been scheduled in with their nutritionist and we’ll discuss dietary changes with a view to eradicating the foods which cause most issues. BUPA are prepared to pay for a maximum of three (3) visits to the nutritionist in light of my condition.
Unfortunately, Dr Saunderson went away for a week (he’s away now) and didn’t write my script before hand. As a result, I’ve been blessed with excess flatulence and frequent diarrhoea bouts while I wait upon his return.
Brain
I saw Dr Jeremy Broadhead at the Hayes Grove Priory on Friday in a (hopefully) final attempt to get my anxiety and sleep in order.
As Bupa have denied me psychiatric cover (previously), and the NHS just provided me with a leaflet (previously), this is being paid for out of my own pocket. The initial consultation, which took around an hour or so, set me back £280. Future consultations will be £120 for 30 minutes; £200 an hour. Ouch.
We covered my complete background, thoughts, feelings and how I felt best proceeding. We also discussed which drugs would best suit the purpose, with him taking my research on the subject into consideration.
It’s been decided to attack the problem on three fronts simultaneously:
- Pharmaceutical short term anxiety relief, if it’s a chemical issue.
- Pharmaceutical long term anxiety relief, if it’s a chemical issue.
- CBT if it’s a biological issue.
‘Chemical issue’ means a chemical imbalance in my brain which is temporarily causing me to feel this way. ‘Biological issue’ means something intrinsic to me; something’s been triggered and won’t be resolved fully by pharmaceuticals, but by reprogramming coping strategies.
Initial steps are to wean off citalopram as it’s seemingly doing nothing, and stop taking sleeping tablets: zopiclone, zolpidem.
Instead, I’m taking 30mg Mirtazapine at night, which has a drowsy effect (thus able to replace the sleeping tablets) and 1mg Lorazepam morning and afternoon to stop any residual anxiety.
I’m also being signed up for CBT classes at The Grove. He thinks six to eight, hour long classes should suffice.
Interestingly, he absolutely does not think I am depressed, not even one little bit. This is a huge relief to me as I was concerned something as huge as that had slipped past all of my many self-analyses.
So it’s been 5 days since starting the new regime, how’s it been going?
Apart from last night, sleep hasn’t been an issue. I’ve been averaging 11-12 hours. I sleep for eight or so, then wake and take my morning lorazepam and then sleep another four or five. I then have a sleep for an hour or two in the middle of the afternoon. Aside from today I haven’t felt anxious at all, either
Last night, however, was a different story. I woke constantly, had terrifying dreams and finally resorted to taking a couple of sleeping pills to knock me out.
This afternoon I had the worst anxiety attack I’ve felt in weeks. My mind was racing, I couldn’t think of what I needed to think of, couldn’t relax, felt very scared, like I was losing control of my mind. I took a lorazepam and lay down for a couple of hours. Sleep wasn’t possible as my mind was going crazy, but I eventually relaxed and calmed down.
It was quite the reminder of why I’ve been off. On the days when everything is fine, my mind wanders and I think, ‘was it as bad as I thought it was?’ This afternoon I got my answer: ‘yes.’.
I see Dr Broadhead on Wednesday and we’ll discuss steps from there. I’m hoping to return to work within a fortnight or so, having adjusted my current levels of medication (sleeping for 12 hours then requiring naps won’t let me work).
Tomorrow I’m starting an exercise routine as I’ve found running really helps clear my head.
I’ve not been as productive in my time off as I expected to be. Lack of focus, and tiredness have featured regularly. The main thing is progress is being made, and I feel it is, and hope it will continue.