Returning to London from Austin always triggers melancholy because each time I’m there I’m reminded of how much I like it and that I’d love to live there. I’m (again) weighing up the possibilities of moving, even for a little while, with Zachary being the obvious pull against doing so. My new (this year) position at work may also stop it being possible at all though – it’s hard to be the ‘London Technical Lead’ when you’re not in London.
I lose contact with people occasionally (though Facebook makes this less likely these days), but in the last week I’ve lost two friends. Both ultimately my choice, but only one by specific action. And ‘by specific action’, I mean stating that my contact details should be erased as I have no interest in knowing them any more. I feel this is a win for my life. The other was an unfortunate casualty of mismatched expectations and goals. I wish them both well.
But I’ve struck up some good friendships recently too:
I met Michael about a year ago, though Brian at work, and while in Austin he invited me round to meet his family. As well as Thai food, we had an entire evening of fascinating discussions on everything from stupid Americans to religion (often combining the two) with the odd joke thrown in for the sake of their resident German, Jenny.
And when I stay in the hotel, I always take time to speak to all the staff, be it ones on the front desk, or the chefs preparing breakfast. Some of them I get on well with and we stay in touch via email/sms when I return to London. I had plans to go and see the Roller Derby for Courtney’s (Brian’s wife) birthday and asked Emma, who’s one of the managers from the hotel, to accompany me.
Unfortunately she had to work, but we re-arranged to meet up for dinner a couple of nights later at an Italian bistro. After some good food we wandered to a coffee shop and spent a few hours talking about everything and nothing. We then spent the weekend hanging out and doing things, getting to know each other properly outside of a work context. It was great fun. I enjoy experiencing connections, building friendships and hopefully having a positive effect on people. It’s a source of true happiness for me.
Work over the last few months has also been getting to me somewhat. We’re in a constant state of flux as we’re tuning hardware and software for greater performance and it’s leaving little time for me to do key parts of my role. And not having time to do key parts of my role directly impacts my income as it affects bonus payments, so it’s a double whammy of being mentally and financially draining. I’ll be taking up some of these points in my quarterly review on Monday afternoon.
I’ve had Zachary this weekend and that started out with him pooing his pants (twice) on Friday, (once) on Saturday and telling me repeatedly that he a) he doesn’t want to be with me, b) he doesn’t like the ‘old house’ (my place) and c) wants to go back to his Mum. Sure, he’s four years old, but it still stings a little, no matter how little he means it.
But he had his fourth birthday party today, and that went well. And he allowed me to stay after the guests were leaving. But made it clear he wasn’t coming back to the old house with me when I went to leave later.
That’s the most recent action in my life. So some wins, some losses.
Oh, and I’m going to cut out refined sugars again – no sweets, puddings etc, I’ve been consuming far too much recently.
